Common Courtesies on our Roads

Common Courtesies on our Roads
Have you ever been in a situation where you are stuck on the road and the time slot is so short for you to make a turn or go through at a traffic light?

What about a situation in which at a crossroads, the other side, right ahead of you, is full due to a jam and you knowingly realise that you will end up on the middle of the road, blocking traffic on your left and right hand side as their green-light is coming to give them right of passage?

When the car in front you just beats the amber, do you simply accelerate and also squeeze yourself through even when at the actual time of your ‘making it’ the light is already red?

These are common scenarios and experiences for every driver on our roads which can make a difference in the way we travel and in what state we get to our destinations.

As the year is now in full swing, the peak periods can be frustrating. One of the major contributors to this frustration is our own sense of courtesy towards other road users.

A zero-sum game ensues when a deadlock arises and all road users come to a standstill. It is possible for one to forego his/her ‘right of way’ for the sake of a greater good when more vehicles will be allowed to move, taking us to our various destinations.

Courtesy, however, needs to be reciprocal and it does run both ways. If you have been a recipient of a good gesture, you should feel obliged to return such a small favour. Before long, it will be habit for you too. A good one!

These are everyday matters which we quickly forget the moment we acquire that driving licence. It is pointless to honk, rudely gesture or even swear at another road user who has made a mistake. It does not only ruin one’s day but also eats into our own spiritual wellness.

Other than the emergency services on duty, there are no super users on our roads. Observance of road regulations is for our own safety and others.

With so many road users, it is hardly possible to make up for time when we have started off late in the first place. So, in all fairness, factor in time and be considerate of others on the road.

The manner we drive, park, signal intentions and communicate with all other road users should befit a character of a Muslim who is courteous, helpful and forgiving but also quick in seeking amends when in the wrong.

A considerable amount of our lives is spent in the time we are on the roads as we travel to and fro. Are we going to allow this part of our lives to go to waste in rash, angry and menacing attitude?

The Almighty does not ignore a good act of charity of removing a small obstacle on a public path. Conversely, He certainly will not ignore an act of the one who carelessly becomes a hindrance, an impediment or an agent of inconvenience on a public road.

It is part of our Islam to be courteous.

HAVING DOUBTS IN ALLAH

Having doubts in Allah Almighty is natural and one should avoid being too concerned about them. In fact, doubts and evil thoughts are a sign of one’s faith.

Sayyiduna Abu Huraira (Allah be pleased with him) narrates that once a group of people came to the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) and asked: “We experience such evil thoughts that it is impossible to bring them on our lips.” The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) said: “Do you really experience these thoughts? Yes, they replied. The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) said: “They are clear signs of faith.” (Sahih Muslim)

Sayyiduna Abd Allah ibn Abbas (Allah have mercy on him) narrates that a Companion came to the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) and asked: “Sometimes I experience such thoughts that I would rather be reduced to charcoal than get them on my lips” (meaning that to speak of these thoughts was worse than burning in fire, m). The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) said: “All praise is to Allah who restricted the devil’s designs to mere evil promptings.” (Sunan Abu Dawud)

The above two narrations cleary show that it is not unusual to have these evil thoughts neither is one more sinful or evil due to them. Even some Companions of the blessed Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) received these thoughts, as we have seen in the above narrations.

Therefore, one should not be worried on their account or feel sad and deterred, for these thoughts are signs of faith.

Some scholars have explained this by saying that a robber or thief only strikes at a place where he knows that there is wealth or money. He would not break into a place where there is no wealth. Similarly, when the devil (shaytan) whispers and puts these evil thoughts into anyone’s heart, then this shows that this person has the wealth of faith (iman) in his heart. If there was no wealth in that heart, Shaytan would have never entered it, thus one should not worry about these evil thoughts.

No sin on mere thoughts
It should also be remembered that one is not accountable for the evil thoughts that occur in the mind and heart as long as they remain thoughts.

Sayyiduna Abu Huraira (Allah be pleased with him) narrates that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) said: “Verily Allah forgives my Ummah for the evil thoughts that occur in their hearts until they don’t say it verbally or act upon it.” (Sahih al-Bukhari & Sahih Muslim).

Therefore, one does not come out of the fold of Islam due to experiencing these evil thoughts, neither is there any sin., as long as one remains a believer with his heart, mouth and action.

What to do?

When experiencing evil thoughts one should do the following:

1) Do not be worried about them, rather one should be happy, for the occurring of evil thoughts is a sign of faith. A saint said: “Shaytan can not tolerate a believer being happy, thus when he sees him being happy for receiving these thoughts, he stops from whispering them.”

2) When these thoughts come, one should occupy one’s self with something else. These thoughts will not disappear by simply desiring them to go, rather, one should get busy in some work or task.

3) One should seek Allah’s protection and refuge from the devil. Sayyiduna Abu Huraira (Allah be pleased with him) narrates that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) said: “The devil (shaytan) comes to one of you and says: “Who created this? Who created that? Until he says: “Who created your Lord?” When one experiences this, one should seek Allah’s refuge and stop the matter there”. (Sahih al-Bukhari & Sahih Muslim).

4) Recitation of the following verse from Surah al-mu’minun may be beneficial:

“Rabbi inni a’uzu bika min hamazat ashayatin wa a’uzu bika rabbi an yahdurun”

Trans: O my Lord! I seek your protection from the instigations of devils and I also seek your protection from that they (ever) come to me.

And Allah knows best

[Mufti] Muhammad ibn Adam
Darul Iftaa
Leicester , UK

DEPRESSION AND STRESS

ASK A MUSLIM DOCTOR

Question.
I have been suffering from stress for some time now and I have been offered some anti-depressants by a non-Muslim doctor who has told me I have clinical depression. I have refused to take the anti-depressants because Muslims shouldn’t be getting depressed and they should rely on Allah (swa). What advice would you give me?

This is a very important and common question. I’m afraid there is no simple answer to this. A lot of people misunderstand the true nature of stress, anxiety, depression and other mental illnesses. As a result of this misunderstanding, most Muslims usually fall into two schools of thought regarding this matter. First school of thought is that Muslims don’t get depressed, and if they do, it is because they have very little imaan and they should not seek help from medical professionals, but rather have reliance on Allah (swa) alone. The second school of thought is that Muslims are humans and they therefore also get depressed and so they should not waste any time and seek medical help from health professionals for ‘happy pills’, just like they would seek medication for any other illness…I believe both schools of thought are correct. Therefore one should take up both pieces of advice simultaneously depending on the circumstance. Let me explain!

Mood disorders can be quite a complicated thing to understand. Their seriousness relates to the symptoms of that disorder. The complicating factor is the amount of overlap that can exist in each mood disorder. Medical professionals have classified these mood disorders. I will roughly explain the common ones:

Anxiety or Stress- Anxiety is a feeling of unease. Everybody experiences it when faced with a stressful situation, for example before an exam or an interview, or during a worrying time such as illness. It is normal to feel anxious when facing something difficult or dangerous, and mild anxiety can be a positive and useful experience also. However, for one in ten people in the UK, anxiety interferes with normal life. Excessive anxiety is often associated with other psychiatric conditions, such as depression. Anxiety is considered abnormal when it is very prolonged or severe, it happens in the absence of a stressful event or it is interfering with everyday activities such as going to work or socialising. Anxiety is the main symptom of several other depressive illnesses. These are called anxiety disorders.

• Acute stress reaction – acute means the symptoms develop quickly, minutes or hours after the stressful event. This type of reaction typically occurs after an unexpected life crisis such as bereavement (somebody close passing away). Sometimes symptoms occur before a forthcoming event, such as an important exam. This is called situational anxiety. Symptoms usually settle fairly quickly and no treatment may be needed.
• Adjustment reaction – This is similar to acute stress reaction, but symptoms develop over days or weeks after a stressful situation, for example as a reaction to a divorce. Symptoms tend to improve over a number of weeks or so.
• Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) – this may follow after experiencing or witnessing a traumatic event such as a major accident or military combat. Anxiety is only one of the symptoms, which may come and go. The person may re-live their traumatic experience in dreams or flashbacks. It is normal to react with anxiety to a frightening experience – the term PTSD is only applied if symptoms persist. It may start years after the triggering event.
• Phobias- A phobia is a fear that is out of proportion to the real danger posed by the thing or event that triggers it. Phobias interfere with a person’s ability to lead a normal life. The most common phobias are fear of heights, spiders, mice, blood, injections or enclosed space (claustrophobia).
• Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD)- This consists of recurring obsessions or compulsions. Obsessions are recurring thoughts or images that cause feelings of disgust. Common obsessions include germs, dirt or violence. Compulsions are thoughts or actions that people feel they must do or repeat. A compulsion is usually a response to ease the anxiety of an obsession. Excessive handwashing to deal with an obsession about dirt, for example.
• Panic disorder -This is characterised by panic attacks – a sudden sense of anxiety that occurs without warning and with no apparent trigger. The physical symptoms of anxiety can be very severe. Panic attacks usually last 5-10 minutes.
Adjustment disorder with depression- This category describes depression that occurs in response to a major life stressor or crisis.
Dysthymic Disorder- This refers to a low to moderate level of depression that persists for at least two years, and often longer. While the symptoms are not as severe as a major depression, they are more enduring and resistant to treatment. Some people with dysthymia develop a major depression at some time during the course of their depression.
Unspecified depression- This includes people with serious depression, but not quite severe enough to have a diagnosis of a major depression. It also includes people with chronic, moderate depression, which has not been present long enough for a diagnosis of a Dysthymic disorder.
Major depression- This is the most serious type of depression, in terms of number of symptoms and severity of symptoms, but there are significant individual differences in the symptoms and severity. You do not need to feel suicidal to have a major depression, and you do not need to have a history of hospitalisations either, although both of these factors are present in some people with major depression. There is no official diagnosis of “moderate depression.”
Bipolar Depression- This type includes both high and low mood swings, as well as a variety of other significant symptoms not present in other depressions.
The symptoms of depression may vary from person to person, and also depend on the severity of the depression. Depression causes changes in thinking, feeling, behaviour, and physical well-being.
• Changes in Thinking – You may experience problems with concentration and decision making. Some people report difficulty with short term memory, forgetting things all the time. Negative thoughts and thinking are characteristic of depression. Pessimism, poor self-esteem, excessive guilt, and self-criticism are all common. Some people have self-destructive thoughts during a more serious depression.
• Changes in Feelings – You may feel sad for no reason at all. Some people report that they no longer enjoy activities that they once found pleasurable. You might lack motivation, and become more lazy. You might feel “slowed down” and tired all the time. Sometimes irritability is a problem, and you may have more difficulty controlling your temper. In the extreme, depression is characterised by feelings of helplessness and hopelessness.
• Changes in Behaviour – Changes in behaviour during depression are reflective of the negative emotions being experienced. You might act more lazy and not motivated, because that’s how you feel. Some people do not feel comfortable with other people, so social withdrawal is common. You may experience a dramatic change in appetite, either eating more or less. Because of the chronic sadness, excessive crying is common. Some people complain about everything, and act out their anger with temper outbursts. Sexual desire may disappear, resulting in lack of sexual activity. In the extreme, people may neglect their personal appearance, even neglecting basic hygiene. Needless to say, someone who is this depressed does not do very much, so work productivity and household responsibilities suffer. Some people even have trouble getting out of bed.
• Changes in Physical Well-being – We already talked about the negative emotional feelings experienced during depression, but these are coupled with negative physical emotions as well. Chronic fatigue, despite spending more time sleeping, is common. Some people can’t sleep, or don’t sleep soundly. These individuals lay awake for hours, or awaken many times during the night, and stare at the ceiling. Others sleep many hours, even most of the day, although they still feel tired. Many people lose their appetite, feel slowed down by depression, and complain of many aches and pains. Others are restless, and can’t sit still.

Now imagine these symptoms lasting for weeks or even months. Imagine feeling this way almost all of the time. Depression is present if you experience many of these symptoms for at least several weeks. Of course, it’s not a good idea to diagnose yourself. If you think that you might be depressed, see your G.P. Your G.P. can assess whether you are depressed, or just under a lot of stress and feeling sad.

I shall discuss the remedies to these mood disorders from both a medical and Islamic perspective.

It was narrated by Suhayb (ra) that the Messenger of Allah (saw) said: “How wonderful is the affair of the believer, for all his affairs are good, and this applies to no one except the believer. If something good happens to him, he gives thanks, and that is good for him, and if something bad happens to him, he bears it with patience, and that is good for him.” 1

It is a true fact that that the character, perception and experiences of a person play a significant role in a persons ability to cope with stress. It is usually people who have low self-esteem, who consistently view themselves and the world with pessimism, or who are readily overwhelmed by stress, that are more prone to depression. Psychologists often describe ‘social learning factors’ as being major contributors in leading a stressful situation into a seriously negative affect on that person. People generally learn ways of managing stress and respond accordingly to life problems as they occur. If a child grows up in a pessimistic environment, in which discouragement is common and encouragement is rare, that child will have an increased risk of developing depression. Everyone copes with stress through their own learned mechanisms. Some people try to keep their minds pre-occupied with either unrelated issues or work, so as not to face the stressing factor. Some try to ignore it and hope it just goes away on its own accord. Others openly express their anxiety seeking sympathy from others as a comforting factor.

The first question that arises is why do we get stressed or worried? In this regard, the true philosophy of life should be understood. The truth is that we have been created by the Almighty to be tested and tried.
“Every soul shall have a taste of death: and We test you by evil and by good by way of trial. To Us must you return” 2
This trial is conducted through the difficult situations we are exposed to. If we are put through good and pleasant circumstances, then our trial is about whether we remain thankful to the Almighty. If we are put through bad or stressful circumstances, then our trial is whether we show perseverance and patience in these times or not.

Allah (swt) tests us through hardships for a number of reasons:

1. To teach us a lesson for our own misdoings
“Whatever misfortune happens to you, is because of the things your hands have wrought, and for many (a sin) He grants forgiveness”.3

2. To see whether we are truly grateful to our Lord at all times
Now, as for man, when his Lord tries him, giving him honour and gifts, then says he, (puffed up), “My Lord has honoured me”. But when He tries him, restricting his subsistence for him, then says he (in despair), “My Lord has humiliated me.” 4
3. To clean the evil within us

“Allah will not leave the believers in the state in which you are now, until He separates what is evil from what is good”. 5

4. To give us the opportunity to earn reward by showing patience.

“And because they were patient and constant, He will reward them with a garden and (garments of) silk”. 6

Islam has been teaching us ‘cognitive behavioural therapy’ (The therapeutic science of psychology related to coping skills) since the time of Rasoolullah (saw). It is our loss that we have not used this in our daily lives effectively. Islam teaches us that it is the attitude of the individual, to the stressful situation, that has a large impact on how positively that individual responds. This attitude is a learned experience which one adheres to at all times especially at the time of need. Islam provides the essential ingredients to remedy all daunting situations. The following are a few examples:

1. Work towards increasing your Imaan by increasing the performance of righteous deeds.

“Whoever works righteousness, male or female, and has faith, verily, to him We will give a good life that is good and pure, and We shall pay them certainly a reward in proportion to the best of what they used to do.” 7

Lots of benefits are gained through this. The person becomes resilient, his willpower becomes stronger, He becomes more patient, the hope of reward is further increased and thus his anxiety may even be replaced with an inner joy.

2. Always acknowledge and be aware that any distress and worry in this life earns expiation for your sins, purifies your heart and raises your status.

The Messenger of Allah (saw) said:“No illness, fatigue, sickness or grief befalls the Muslim, not even worries, but it will be expiation for some of his sins.” 8

3. Constantly remind yourself about the reality of this world

This world is a temporary abode for us. We are drowned in its luxuries but yet we fail to gain constant happiness. Life is unjust in this world and to expect perfection and happiness throughout life is a deception. The true abode is the hereafter and this life is just a testing ground for us, yet we live in this life and become so engrossed with the most pettish of things like our whole life depended on it. Life is about ups and downs. A bit of laughter one day, and many tears the next. It is how we persevere through this, which is important. The believer is only detained here, as the Messenger of Allah (saw) said: “This world is the prison of the believer and the paradise of the Non-believer.” 9

4. Always refer to the lives and examples of the Prophets and the Pious.

The Prophets and the Pious undoubtedly suffer more distress in this world than any other people. Each person is tested according to their strength. One thing is for sure that when Allah (swt) takes a liking to a person. He tests him.
“No burden do We place on any soul, but that which it can bear” 10
Sa’d (ra) asked the Prophet (saw): “O Messenger of Allah, which of the people suffers the most distress?” He said: “The Prophets, then those who come after them (in terms of status), then those who come after them. A man will be tested according to the strength of his faith. If his faith is strong, then the distress with which he is tried will be greater; if his faith is weak, he will be tested in accordance with the level of his faith. Distress will keep on befalling the slave until he walks on the face of the earth free from sin.” 11
5. Always focus on the Hereafter and make this utmost priority of your main concern.

It was narrated that Anas (ra) said: The Prophet (saw) said: “Whoever is mainly concerned about the Hereafter, Allah will make him feel independent of others and will make him focused and content, and his worldly affairs will fall into place. But whoever is mainly concerned with this world, Allah will make him feel in constant need of others and will make him distracted and unfocused, and he will get nothing of this world except what is decreed for him.” 12

6. Remember death and that every living thing will meet their maker.

This world is only temporary and the real life is the one hereafter. For a believer the greatest comfort is that the stresses of this world are only limited to this world and appreciating the temporariness of this life easies the burden for him.

The Prophet (saw) said: “Remember frequently the one who will destroy all your pleasures: death, for there is no-one who remembers death when in straitened circumstances, but his situation will become easier, and there is no-one who remembers death during times of ease, but his circumstances will become straitened.” 13

7. Increase your supplication to Allah and seek His help.

Du’aa’ (prayer or supplication) is the essence of worship, and includes both protection and treatment. Allah (swt) has full control of all matters and it is only Him who can change things in this world according to how He wishes. This is why The Prophets (as) turned to Allah and prayed to Him for refuge from distress frequently.

Prophet Yaqoob (as) said, “I only complain of my distraction and anguish to Allah” 14
“When My servants ask thee concerning Me, I am indeed close (to them): I listen to the prayer of every supplicant when he calls on Me: Let them also, with a will, Listen to My call, and believe in Me: That they may walk in the right way” 15
8. Send abundant salutations on our beloved Prophet (saw)

This is one of the greatest ways through which Allah may relieve worries:
Al-Tufayl ibn Ubayy ibn Ka’b (ra) reported that his father said to Rasoolullah (saw), ‘I will devote all my prayer (salutations) to you.’ Rasoolullah (saw) replied, ‘Then your worries will be taken care of and your sin will be forgiven.’”

9. Rely upon Allah and trust Him with all matters

“… And whosoever puts his trust in Allah, then He will suffice him…” 16

10. Think about what matters today in a positive way. Do not worry about what may happen tomorrow or regret what happened yesterday.

Abu Hurayrah (ra) reported: “The Messenger of Allah (saw) said: ‘The strong believer is better and more beloved to Allah than the weak believer, and both are good. Pay attention to that which could benefit you, seek the help of Allah and do not feel incapacitated. If anything befalls you, do not say, “If only I had done such-and-such, such a thing would have happened.” Say instead, “It is the decree of Allah, and what He wills, He does,” for saying “if only…” opens the way for Shaytaan.’” 17

11. Remember Allah frequently

Dhikr (remembrance of Allah) has a wonderful effect in calming the soul and relieving stress and worry. “…Verily, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest.” 18

12. Seek refuge in prayer (salaat)

Allah says “O you who believe! seek help with patient perseverance and prayer (salaat); for God is with those who patiently persevere” 19

13. Always be grateful of what Allah (swt) has given you.

Regularly think about the blessings of Allah bestowed upon you. Ponder over all the good things in your life and reflect upon what good things you have been given that others have not.

The Prophet (saw) explained how we could attain this attitude of gratefulness in a hadeeth reported by Abu Hurayrah (ra): “The Messenger of Allah (saw) said: ‘Look at those who are below you, not at those who are above you, so that you will not think little of the blessings that Allah has bestowed upon you.”

14. Keep your self busy with useful work, the pursuit of beneficial knowledge and strive in the path of Allah.

Keeping one self busy in those activities that bring one closer to Allah (swt) are of great benefit. Reciting the Holy Qur’aan regularly or listening to the Holy Qur’aan being recited is a very beneficial act to overcome ones anguish and anger. Another beneficial act is to read the Seerah of our beloved Rasoolullah (saw). Having appreciated the trials and challenges that our beloved Rasool (saw) and his companions made for their ummah, helps to strengthen and create motivation to overcome the stressors of daily life. Sincerity and devotion in worship is more important than the amount of worship one performs as this will truly relieve anxiety. It is important that the work with which you keep yourself busy in, is something that you like to do and is pleasing to Allah (swt). It will then be more effective in bringing about the desired good results. One’s attendance at gatherings related to Islam and being in the company of the god-conscious are two very praiseworthy and beneficial things to keep one self busy in.

15. Constantly be aware of the mercy of the Most Merciful.

Remember that Allah (swt) is only testing you for a just purpose and only for a limited period and truly believe this.

Allah says: “No burden do We place on any soul, but that which it can bear” 20
“So, verily, with every difficulty, there is relief. Verily, with every difficulty there is relief”. 21

In an ideal world where one would constantly be in the company of righteous and pious people, adhering and implementing the above ingredients in to one’s life wouldn’t be too difficult. But in today’s climate holding on to your faith is a real challenge and as a result people’s faith tends to be weak. Worldly dependence is always with us and because of this dependence we are less receptive and willing to accept the remedies prescribed in Islam. For whatever reason, reliance on alternative therapies has become more common. Remedies prescribed by Islam are undoubtedly effective but we may be too engrossed in our worldly pursuits to employ them in our lives even though they work faster than medical therapies. Reality is that if one is in a situation where having tried their utmost in dealing with stress, feels that their depressive symptoms are worsening and are not receptive to these remedies should persevere in this pursuit and not lose hope. He or she should try harder, yet at the same time seek professional help from a doctor as this may be a sign of debilitating clinical depression. As Muslims we believe that all comes from Allah (swt) and that Allah (swt) also provides the means to treatment and cure in this world and this treatment and cure has many sources.
“…Seek treatment: For Allah has created a cure for every sickness. Some treatments are known, others are not…” 22
When stress and depression are controllable and they don’t cause serious physical symptoms then one should just resort to those remedies prescribed by Islam. It is only when these symptoms begin to affect the nature of that person. His lack of sleep and low mood is causing him to miss his obligatory worship no matter how hard he is trying to increase his Imaan. His irritability and intolerance to those around him is making him sin. He is unable to care for his dependents effectively and is becoming quite unwell. Then he should seek all alternative means to cure himself as long as they are shariah compliant. It is not practical today to advise a women who is at her tether with depression and expect her to remain patient and just work on her Imaan, when it becomes obvious that her weakness has led to her Islaam and Imaan becoming negatively affected. The greatest loss would be if she ended up in divorce and left to care for dependent children alone, only because she felt it was not morally right for her to take antidepressants yet she was missing her prayers and behaving un-Islamically. Here I would strongly recommend that she tries her utmost best in working on her Imaan and at the same time seek medical help, which may mean taking antidepressants.
Allah (s.w.a) says in the Holy Qur’aan:
“…and be not cast by your own hands to ruin…” 23
I have seen and treated many cases of Muslim patients who have reached the pits with their Imaan because of their uncontrollable depression but yet having treated them medically they have become strong enough to work and strengthen their Imaan again and have successfully overcome their depression. Depressive disorders make you feel exhausted, worthless, helpless, and hopeless. Such negative thoughts and feelings make some people feel like giving up, which will have a serious effect on their Imaan. You should realise that these negative views are part of depression, and typically do not accurately reflect their life situation or their negligence of Islam and Allah (swt). Negative thinking fades as treatment begins to take effect.
When I see Muslim patients who are suffering with depression and are truly seeking help then I usually give them the following practical advice:
• Do not set difficult goals for yourself, or take on additional responsibility.
• Break large tasks into small ones, set some priorities, and do what you can as you can.
• Do not expect too much from yourself too soon, as this will only increase your feelings of failure.
• Try to be with other people (especially religious people who are positive in their approach); it is better than being alone or being with sinful people.
• Force yourself to participate in activities that may make you feel better especially those activities that you enjoy doing and are pleasing to Allah (swt).
• Try participating in religiously orientated social activities.
• Don’t overdo it or get upset if your mood is not greatly improved right away. Feeling better takes time. Just because you are not coping too well doesn’t mean that you are less religious than those who cope well. Many environmental factors play a role in how you react to stress not just religious ones. The idea is to strive towards overcoming worldly stressors.
• Do not make major life decisions, such as changing jobs, getting married or divorced, without consulting others who know you well and who have a more objective view of your situation. In any case, it is advisable to postpone important decisions until your depression has lifted.
• Do not expect to snap out of your depression. People rarely do. Help yourself as much as you can, and do not blame yourself for not being up to par. Have trust in Allah (swt) for he will respond to your prayers.
• Remember, do not accept your negative thinking. It is part of the depression and will disappear as your depression responds to treatment.
• Get help from a professional if your symptoms seem to get progressively worse. No matter how much you want to beat it yourself. You may find that your low mood is better having talked to a doctor or other health professional. After all clinical depression is classified as a medical illness in these circumstances because it now has physical manifestations.
So what does professional medical help have to offer? Even severe depression can be highly responsive to medical treatment. Believing that one’s condition is “incurable” is often part of the hopelessness that accompanies serious depression. One has to remember that treatment will not eliminate life’s inevitable stresses and ups and downs. But it can greatly enhance your ability to manage and cope with such challenges so that you begin to think positively and begin to enhance your Imaan again.
The most commonly used treatments for depression are psychotherapy and antidepressant medication, or a combination of the two. Which of these is the right treatment for you depends on the nature and severity of the depression and, to some extent, on individual preference. In moderate clinical depression, psychotherapy is most likely the most appropriate treatment. But, in severe or incapacitating depression, medication is generally recommended, in addition to psychotherapy. In combined treatment, medication can relieve physical symptoms quickly, while psychotherapy allows you to learn more effective ways of handling your problems.
1. Psychotherapy is used to treat depression in several ways. First, supportive counselling can help to ease the pain of depression, and can address the hopelessness of depression. Second, cognitive therapy. This is a form of psychotherapy carried out by a specially trained therapist. Cognitive therapy involves assessing the reasoning behind people’s thinking, on the basis that incorrect thinking results in abnormal reactions. Behavioural therapy aims to change behaviour. Usually the person is gradually exposed to the situation causing anxiety. CBT combines these two types of therapies, and is proven to be effective for anxiety disorders including phobias and panic disorder. But generally it works to change the pessimistic ideas, unrealistic expectations, and overly critical self-evaluations that create the depression and sustain it. Cognitive therapy can help the depressed person recognise which life problems are critical, and which are minor. It also helps them to develop positive life goals, and a more positive self-assessment. Third, problem solving therapy is usually needed to change the areas of the person’s life that are creating significant stress, and contributing to the depression. This may require behavioural therapy to develop better coping skills, or Interpersonal therapy, to assist in resolving relationship problems. Research has shown that these psychotherapies are particularly helpful for treating depression. It is quite unfortunate that there is no current professional Islamic psychotherapy for Muslim patients, as I am sure this would have quite a significant effect on Muslims suffering from depressive symptoms.
2. Medication- Except in the more severe depressions, and bipolar depression, medication is usually an option, rather than a necessity. Antidepressant medication does not cure depression, it helps you to feel better by controlling certain symptoms. If you are depressed because of life problems, such as relationship conflicts, divorce, loss of a loved one, job pressures, financial crises, serious medical problems in yourself or a family member, legal problems, or problems with your children, taking a pill will not make those problems go away but rather it will help you cope with the problems and help reduce the depressive symptoms. .
The medications used to treat depression include many. Each acts on different chemical pathways of the human brain related to moods. It is very important to note that Antidepressant medications are not habit-forming or addictive. This is a seriously misunderstood belief. One can come off them when they wish without them causing any adverse effects. To be effective, medications must be taken for about 4-6 months (in a first episode), carefully following the doctor’s instructions. Always remember that all prescription drugs have potential side effects including paracetamol, but the chance of having those side effects is not common. A wide variety of complementary therapies is available for the treatment of anxiety. However, there is no conclusive evidence that these are of benefit or free from side-effects. Anyone who chooses to take complementary medicines should tell their pharmacist, as interactions with other medicines are possible.
Depression is a very common condition today. Unfortunately because of the social problems that Muslims are faced in todays society, some depressive patients may have uncontrollable symptoms. These patients should seek medical help but should always have trust in Allah (swt). To have complete (Tawakul) trust in Allah (swt) means to rely on him completely and to recognise that ones life and destiny is totally owned and controlled by Him. If Allah (swt) wishes he may use medical help as a means of controlling your depression and this should not be considered a wrong thing but a positive thing as the person is trying to get back to sanity so that they can cope with life and overcome those hindrances that are holding back their Imaan. It is important to understand that seeking help in times of despair is something that Allah expects from us for we are His mere creations.
“Truly no one despairs of God’s Soothing Mercy, except those who have no faith” 24
References:
1. Sahih Muslim
2. Surah Al-Anbiya 21:35
3. Surah Ash-Shura 42:30
4. Surah Al-Fajar 89:15,16
5. Surah Al-Imraan 3:179
6. Surah Al-Insaan 76:12
7. Surah Al-Nahl 16:97
8. Sahih Muslim
9. Sahih Muslim
10. Surah Al-Anaam 6:152
11. Sahih Bukhari
12. Tirmidhi
13. Sahih Muslim
14. Surah Yusuf 12:86
15. Surah Al-Baqarah 2:186
16. Surah At-Talaaq 65:3
17. Sahih Muslim
18. Surah Ar-Ra’d 13:28
19. Surah Al-Baqarah 2:153
20. Surah Al-Anaam 6:152
21. Surah Al-Inshirah 94:5,6
22. Sahih Bukhari
23. Surah Al-Baqarah 2:195
24. Surah Yusuf 12:87

Death on a Friday

Hadith: Death on a Friday
Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam) said: “Any muslim male or female who passes away on the night or day of Friday will be saved from the trials of the grave.
(Tirmizi)
Advice: Avoid causing inconvenience
Once Moulana Maseehullah Khan (Rahmatullahi Alayh) was informed that his son Safiyullah was involved in a fight with another student by the name of Rasheed Ahmad. Rasheed Ahmad narrates that it was midday during the summer period whilst I was resting that I heard a knock on the door. I opened the door and to my amazement I see my principal Hazrat Moulana standing in front of me. In his polite tone, he mentioned to me that “I was informed that my son Safiyullah had fought with you. Hence I have come to you solely to apologise on his behalf.” I told him that no such fight had taken place and that we are close friends. Someone may have passed on wrong information regarding him. However, despite explaining this to him, he continued asking me to pardon him.
(Hayate Maseehul Ummat), Pg.142)
Lesson: An important principle in Deen is never to inconvenience anyone at anytime. If one has erred and caused any inconvenience one should immediately apologise and seek the person’s pardon. Doing so does not decrease one’s honour and respect. Rather it increases it.

Remote jamming – be vigilant

Vehicle jamming gang hits Joburg

January 25 2012 at 10:58am
By BOTHO MOLOSANKWE AND CANDICE BAILEY


 

 

Police search the spot where a man fired shots at them from Bryanston Parallel Medium School. The man is still on the run. Photo: Tiro Ramatlhatse

 

More than 30 incidents of car-jamming theft are taking place in the high end shopping malls and primary schools of Sandton each week.

On Tuesday, a dramatic early morning shootout unfolded at Bryanston Parallel Medium Primary School between police officers and a man in a black Subaru believed to be a remote control jamming thief.

The school had been on alert after several incidents recently. During the morning drop-off rush on Tuesday, a security guard handing out flyers warning of the trend became suspicious of a man in a Subaru who was holding a handbag, and took down the registration before alerting the police. When police arrived, the man shot at them. Officers fired back, but the man escaped. No one was injured in the incident.

According to a security guard at the school, last week a woman in a Toyota Fortuner reported that her handbag and laptop had been stolen while she was dropping her child off.

Then on Friday, a man, also in a Fortuner, reported the theft of his laptop. On Monday, a woman, who had dropped off her child at the school and had stopped at a grocery store, noticed that her handbag and laptop were missing.

The Star understands that at least four primary schools in Sandton have been hit since November – and incidents have been reported at Sandton City and the Hobart shopping centre in Bryanston.

A police source, who could not be named, said on average there were over 40 incidents of theft out of vehicles reported in Sandton each week. Of these, 85 percent were thefts in which jamming took place.

In the scam, criminals use domestic remote controls to interfere with the signal of the car remote, preventing the car from being locked. When the motorists are out of sight, they open the vehicle.

Just hours after the shootout on Tuesday, Rivonia Primary School sent out SMS alerts to parents warning them about the anti-locking scam.

But school governing body deputy chairwoman Disebo Moephuli said she wasn’t aware of any incidents at the school.

Sandton police spokeswoman Captain Kym Cloete confirmed four schools were hit in Sandton since November and said the scam started at shopping malls.

Sandton Community Police Forum chairwoman Wendy Vorster-Robertson said primary schools were softer targets as most parents walked their small children to class. “Most of the parents are going to work and would have valuables in their car that they don’t want to take in with them,” she said.

At malls there has been a constant increase in incidents over the past 10 months. Some crooks watched motorists pull up while others targeted shoppers who dropped off their purchases and returned to the mall, Vorster-Robertson said.

Servaas du Plessis, CEO of Censeo, an insurance industry assessing and verification company, said while there was not an increase in incidents nationally, some of the high-end shopping malls in Sandton, Menlyn and Durban had been hit.

Sandton City refused to comment.

Gareth Kemp of the Hobart centre in Bryanston said that in two incidents last year, laptops were taken from cars.

Retail Motor Industry CEO Jeff Osborne said they became aware of the trend, in which ordinary remotes were used to jam locking devices, about 18 months ago.

Because car remotes were electronic transmitters, there was not a “great deal” that could stop it.

“The only way is for motorists to be more vigilant when they lock their cars, to hear the audible click and then to even test the door. It’s the sad reality,” Osborne said. – The Star

 

MUHARRAM AND AASHURA

THE MESSAGE
Muharram and Aashura

MUHARRAM is the first month of the Islamic, Hijrah calendar. It is one of the four sanctified months about which Allah Ta’ala says, ‘The number of months in the sight of Allah are twelve (in a year) – So ordained by Him the day He created the heavens and the earth; Of them four are sacred: That is the right religion. So wrong not yourselves therein.’ (Surah Taubah).

The four months, according to authentic Ahaadith, are the months of Zul-Qa`dah, Zul Hijjah, Muharram and Rajab. The sanctity of these four months was observed in the Shari’ah of all the Ambiyaa Alaihis Salaam.

‘Allah Ta’ala made them (i.e. the four months) sacred and increased their sanctity. Hence declared a sin therein more severe and increased the virtue of good deeds and (also) the reward thereof.’ (Ibn Katheer).

The Ulama have stated that the actions performed in these months have an effect on what a person does in the remaining months of the year.

THE MONTH OF MUHARRAM

The best of fasts besides the month of Ramadhaan is the fast during Allah’s month of Muharram and the best of Salaats besides the Fardh (obligatory Salaat) is the Tahajjud Salaah (performed after midnight). (Sahih Muslim).

THE DAY OF AASHURA (10th OF MUHARRAM)

The tenth of Muharram, known as the day of Aashura, is a very significant day in the Islamic calendar. Nabi Sallallahu alaihi Wa Sallam has exhorted the Ummah to fast on this day. Hadhrat Aaisha Radiyallahu anhaa reports that Nabi Sallallahu alaihi Wa Sallam ordered the observance of the fast of Aashura. However, when the fast of Ramadhaan became compulsory, Nabi Sallallahu alaihi Wa Sallam left the fast of Aashura (i.e. the compulsion). Thereafter, whosoever desired kept this fast and whosoever desired, (not to keep it) did not observe this fast’. (Sahih Bukhari, Vol 1).

Hadhrat Ibn Abbaas Radiyallahu Anhu says, ‘I did not see Rasulullah Sallallahu alaihi Wa Sallam anxiously await the fast of any day, which he gave preference to over other days, but this day (of Aashura) and the month of Ramadhaan (Sahih Bukhaari, Vol. 1).

VIRTUE OF THE FAST OF AASHURA

With regard to the blessing of this fast, Nabi Sallallahu alaihi Wa Sallam was asked regarding it’s virtue. He answered, ‘It is a compansation for the sins of the past year.’ i.e. the sins of one year that has just gone by will be forgiven. (Sahih Muslim, Vol. 1).
Note: Only minor sins are forgiven. For the forgiveness of major sins, Towbah is a prerequisite.

THE FAST OF AASHURA

Hadhrat Ibn Abbaas Radiyallahu anhu narrates that when Nabi Sallallahu alaihi Wa Sallam came to Madinah and found the Jews fasting on the day of Aashura, he inquired, ‘What is the significance of this day on which you fast?’ They replied, ‘This is the day Allah saved Nabi Moosa Alaihis Salaam and his followers and drowned Fir’oun and his army, thus Moosa Alaihis Salaam fasted on this day as a token of thanksgiving. Therefore we too fast on this day.’ (Sahih Muslim, Vol 1).

Rasulullah Sallallahu alaihi Wa Sallam said, ‘We are more worthy of Moosa Alaihis Salaam and nearer to him that you.’ Thereafter, he fasted on this day and ordered the Sahaabah to fast on this day. (Sahih Muslim, Vol. 1)

Rasulullah Sallallahu alaihi Wa Sallam is reported to have said, ‘Observe the fast of Aashura and oppose (the way of) the Jews. Fast a day before it (also) or a day after it.’ (Baihaqi, Vol 4)

Hence, one should fast for two days: Either the 9th and 10th or the 10th and 11th. To fast only on the 10th of Muharram is MAKROOH (reprehensible) and bears semblance to the Jews.

GENEROSITY TO ONE’S FAMILY

Besides fasting on the day of Aashura, being generous to one’s family and spending more than what is normally spent on food, etc. is an act of great merit. It is mentioned in a Hadith, ‘He who will be generous to his family on the day of Aashura, Allah will be generous to him for the entire year.’

FALLACIOUS BELIEF

The day of Aashura is regarded by many people as the day of mourning the martyrdom of Sayyidina Hussain Radiyallahu Anhu. To attribute the significance of Aashura to Sayyiduna Hussain Radiyall Ahu’s martyrdom is totally baseless because the sanctity of Aashura is proven, beyond doubt, from the time of Rasulullah Sallallahu alaihi Wa Sallam , whilst Sayyiduna Hussain Radiyallahu Anhu was martyred fifty years after Nabi Sallallahu alaihi Wa Sallam left this earthly abode. The fact that the martyrdom of Sayyiduna Hussain Radiyallahu Anhu occurred on the Day of Aashura has absolutely no bearing on the significance of this day nor is the sanctity of this day derived from this event. On the contrary, it is one of the merits of Sayyidina Hussain Radiyallahu Anhu that he was martyred on the Day of Aashura.

RESPECT WHAT ALLAH HAS HONOURED, FOR VERILY TO HONOUR THINGS DUE TO VIRTUE WHICH ALLAH HAS ACCORDED THEM IS AMONG THE TRAITS OF THE INTELLIGENT.

Al-Jamiat Publications
Courtesy: www.everymuslim.net

GOOD DEEDS

So many times thoughts of good deeds come to mind. For example, one thinks that i want to pray Quraan, do zikr, pray tahajjud, give sadaqah e.t.c. This thought is called ‘Waarid’ in the terminology of the soofiyaa. Remember! this thought of a good deed which has come in to your mind is a guest of Allah. If you value it (by acting upon and executing the good deed) the guest will come back and invite you towards another good deed. If however, it is not valued and treated well then it will not return as it is a guest with great self respect. Seek the protection of Allah from the time this guest stops coming to you as this will result in the heart becoming hard, dark and rusty.

IMAAM MUSLIM(R.A)

Imam Muslim(R.A. )

NAME AND BIRTH:

His name was Abul-Hussain MUSLIM-bin-Habaj al Nishapuri. He was born in a distinguished family of Arab Muslims in Khorasan which was a famous town of Russia. Imam muslim was born in 817 A.D. corresponding to the Islamic year 204 A.H. His forefathers occupied prominent positions during the time of the four Caliphs. He traveled to many places with the object of learning Hadith, and after completing his studies in the various centres of learning, he settled at Nishapur. He spent the rest of his life teaching Hadith.

EDUCATION:

Imam muslim started his studies at the very early age of fourteen years. In the year 218 A.H. the atmosphere in Nishapur, his birthplace, was of a religious and knowledge type. Nishapur had great personalities in this period such as lmaam Rahiwe and lmaam Zohri. After traveling widely in search of Hadith, he settled in NishaPur as mentioned above. Imam muslim was much impressed by the vast knowledge of imaam Bukhari (R.A.), in the field of Hadith and the deep insight he possessed on this subject. He therefore attached himself to imaam Bukhari (RA.) up to the end of his life. Imam muslim was also an admirer of another great teacher of Hadith, Muhammed bin Yahya al Dhuli. He attended his lectures regularly. He visited Baghdad several times and had the opportunity of delivering lessons there. His last visit to Baghdad was two years before his death.

IMAM MUSLIMS TEACHERS:

Imam muslim (RA.) apart from attending the lessons of imaam Bukhari regularly, also attended the lectures of lmaam Ahmad bin Hambal, Abdullah al Qarri, Qutaiba bin Said, Abdullah bin Maslama and other great Muhadith.

IMAM MUSLIMS STUDENTS:

Imam muslim (RA.’s) most noted students are Hatim Razi, Ahmad bin Salmah, Abu Isa Tinnizi, Abubaker bin Khuzaima and other great scholars.

CHARACTER AND KNOWLEDGE:

Imam muslim RA adhered strict1y to the path of righteousness. He was in fact a great saint of a very high caliber. His excellent character can be well judged from the simple fact that he never ever indulged in backbiting, a very common human failing. He had a remarkable memory. Ishaq bin Rahwi said of Imam muslim “I wonder what this person is going to be?” This was said in his youth. Ishag Kausar once addressed lmaam muslim (RA.) and said; “Your presence in the Muslim community will always keep it in the good. ” Abu Saimah who was a colleague of Imam muslim was so attached to him that while lmaam Sahib was busy compiling the Sahih muslim he remained in imaam Sahib’s company for fifteen years. He never told a lie nor did he ever use vulgar words.

MISLIK:

 Sheikh Abdul Latief says imam Tirmidhi and Imam muslim were followers of the Shafee school of thought although they were both Mujtahids. Moulana Abdur-Rashid says that Imam muslim was a Maliki. The fact is what was said by Sheikh Tahir Jaza that Imam muslim is not a Maliki nor a Hanifi nor a Shafi, but his compilation of the Sahih muslim shows that he was more inclined towards the Shafee school of thought.

SAHIH

Allamah Nabawi (R.A.) says that the Ummat have accepted the Bukhari Shareef and Muslim Shareef as the Kitabs, which follow the Quraan, in authenticity although the Bukhari is regarded as holding a higher position than the Sahih muslim for specific reasons, the sequence applied in the muslim is much better than that of Bukhari. It is known as AI-Jamah as Sahih because it contains the eight different subjects on Hadis.

AL-JAMAH AS SAHIH

ImaamBukhari (R.A.) concentrated his efforts on compilation of authentic hadith as well as deduction of Laws from Hadith. This is the most difficult part to understand in the Bukhari. How he deduced Laws from the Hadis, Imam muslim concentrated his efforts only on compilation of authentic Hadith.